And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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