im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
