If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
