I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
