Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
