dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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