So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
