Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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