I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
