i just wanna soil my oats bro
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize