I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
