well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
