I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
is wine microwaveable?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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