Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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