Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize