For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need a beard to bite.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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