she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
