I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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