Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
