i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
