I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
