Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
