So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
