my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it glows. i had to have it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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