Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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