I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
3pm strippers are depressing
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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