dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
