I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
