Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
