There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
