could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
