what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
