Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize