Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
