Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize