Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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