Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
