eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
