My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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