You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
