Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
