woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize