he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
