sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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