it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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