so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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