She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
