at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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