This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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