i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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