I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize