I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
