that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
