That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
