i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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