just tell him i said nine months
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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