im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
