cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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