So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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