My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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