And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
