This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
