Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
