Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
