whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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