Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
