yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
