DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
