why didn't you poke me back
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
