It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
