I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
