I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
