We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
